11/4/2018 - Parenting

Last Sunday was very busy, so by the time I had time to sit down I was exhausted and just went to sleep.

Part of the reason it was so busy, and stressful, was that we got reported to CPS.  The reason for that was that our toddler's leg was broken while he was jumping on a trampoline with his older brother.  This is actually a very common thing, and the CPS agent who came said that if they had been told it involved a trampoline they wouldn't have bothered coming.  The person who reported us is a mandatory reporter and took that seriously to the point of giving up on reason.  There were numerous other mandatory reporters (doctors, nurses, etc) who knew about the situation and decided that there was no risk.

Anyway, so we knew they were coming on Monday.  That's not usually how it works.  Usually they just drop in unexpectedly, but we were told ahead of time, likely because they already suspected it was unnecessary.  When they came Monday it was no big deal, but Saturday and Sunday were stressful, and there was a lot of cleaning involved.  We struggle to get our children to clean up after themselves (like most families I've seen), and it had been building up for a while.  This was the spark that made us do a massive purge.  On the plus side, since then it hasn't been quite so hard to get the kids to pick up their rooms.  They have an easier time cleaning when it doesn't look like a hopeless cause.

The other reason that it was more stressful than a typical Sunday is that we had taken in one of our daughter's friends.  This friend had been left with a babysitter while the mom took a trip out of the country.  The dad lives across the state, and doesn't seem all there.  And the babysitter had a traumatic brain injury from a car accident a while back, leaving her not all there either.  We noticed there was a problem when the friend seemed incredibly sad all the time.  After finding out what was going on we had her spend more and more time at our house.  By the end she was staying with us overnight (with the babysitter's permission).  We pretty much adopted her for most of a week until her mom got back.  We spent the weekend considering and praying about whether we should report her to CPS.  We did end up reporting it.  Even now, with the mom back, we're trying to do what we can to help her to be happy and safe.  She's not ours, but I feel like we care about her more than her own parents.

I know I'm not a perfect parent, but I love my children.  I try to be there for them.  My wife and I take care of them, feed them, and if we ever leave them with someone it's with family members we know will do a good job taking care of them until we get back.  It's easy to forget how big that is.

10/21/2018 - Wow, I'm back already

Okay, here I am, one week later, writing another journal entry.  I'm a little impressed by that.  I don't feel like doing any more 'Previously On' for now, so I'll just go over this week.

This week was a fairly typical one.  I worked, I took our dog for walks or bike rides almost every night, I took my daughter to swim team, I did scouts with my son, I went on a date with my wife.

At work, I got to go to a free convention (Boise Startup Week) a few times, and I learned some interesting things and did some networking.  I met a professor from ISU (where I got my undergrad), and he might have me do a presentation for one of his classes.  That could be cool.

At scouts, most of the boys (including mine) were being very disrespectful.  I felt like I had to get them back on task every few minutes.  I don't like being a disciplinarian, especially to other peoples' kids, but this was ridiculous.  They were learning to take care of cars, but they weren't paying attention.  They were loud and incredibly rude.  I did repeatedly tell them to be respectful, but I still felt like more was needed.  I teach some of the same boys at church, so I talked about respect during part of the lesson today.  I hope it sinks in.

The date my wife and I went on last night was really fun.  It was simple, but fun.  We got a little food (mostly just a snack) in Boise, then we got a couple of the lime scooters that were set up this week.  We rode all over and had a great time.  There was a lot of laughing.

Anyway, nothing too big this week, but I wanted to touch base anyway.

10/14/2018 - Here we go again

I, Matthew, having been born of goodly parents, and having been taught somewhat in the ways of the Lord do write this record in my preferred language, which is a variation of English common to the current time, being the year of our Lord 2018.

Okay, no, I don’t really talk like that, but it’s fun sometimes.  Anyway, I’ve tried to keep a journal numerous times in my life, but it rarely lasts for more than a couple months.  This has always frustrated me about myself, which is probably why I stopped trying for so many years.  I've lost most of my previous journals.  I have a vague idea where the one that lasted for most of two years is, but I don't feel like digging it up, and it's not digital anyway.  Maybe someday I'll find it and digitize it, but I think the best thing for me to do now is just to do a quick 'Previously On' to get all my loyal readers (For anyone reading this in the distant future, that's a joke referencing the popular thing for drama tv shows of today to put a quick little catching up thing at the beginning of an episode, to remind people of what happened in the previous episodes, or catch them up if they missed it.  Me pointing this out is meant to be satirical, and me pointing that out is meant to be meta.).

Okay, so here's the rules of how I'm going to do this.  It's public, which means anyone can see this.  Which means I'm not going to give anything too specific about myself or anyone close to me.  So all names will be pseudonyms.  I'll try to keep track of what name I use for which person in real life so I don't get them mixed up, but honestly I doubt I'll use names too often anyway.  I do intend for this to be a journal though, so the stuff I put will be true, at least as far as I know, and I'll try to avoid putting things I assume are true but haven't done any fact checking on.  Some things are impossible to prove either way however, and if I find it interesting I might talk about it.  

Now that the ground rules have been set, let's do the meat of this post.

Previously on Matt's life:

My parents are wonderful people.  I was raised in Arizona, the youngest of six kids.  My father owns his own business, and due largely to his amazing work ethic, is quite successful.  My mother helps him run the book keeping side of the business.  They started it when I was little, maybe five years old, I don't remember exactly.  For years they ran the business out of our house, which meant my mom could have a full-time job but still be there for me when I got home from school.  They taught me to work hard in school, around the home, and at work.  I've tried to hold onto that work ethic as I've grown, and I feel that I've mostly succeeded, though I have at times struggled with video game addiction which has fought against that work ethic.  I'm trying to teach my kids to be happy and successful through hard work as well.  As much as I love them, I feel like they're lazier than I think is appropriate.  Hoping to help them get over that, but it's hard.  Currently my parents are both mostly retired, and most of the running of the family business is done by my older brothers.  

I'm one of the few members of my family who doesn't actually work for the family business, though I did do office and janitorial work for them when I was in college.  Now I work as a software engineer for a cool company in Idaho.  My wife, Becky, is what brought me up here.  We met at a birthday party for a girl neither of us knew (we still don't).  We both got dragged along by friends.  We hit it off, and about three weeks later we were engaged.  We got married about three months after that.  I know that sounds crazy fast, but it felt right and we've never regretted that decision.  Shortly after that her father's cancer came out of remission, so we moved up to Idaho to be close to him.  I finished college up here after he passed on.  Then we bounced back and forth between AZ and ID, thanks to a job I got which allowed me to work from home most of the time.  I worked in that job for most of a decade, and then finally switched to a startup.  That ended up not working out (they were running out of funding) so I switched jobs again.  This job seems a lot more secure, and I'm loving it.

In case you didn't catch the reference at the beginning, I am a devout member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I hold the priesthood office of elder, and served a full-time two year mission, spreading the gospel in the Netherlands and Belgium shortly after the turn of the century (not planning to get more specific than that). My wife and I got married in an LDS temple. That means a lot of things, but the most important is that we are married for time and all eternity rather than simply until death do us part. I love my wife, and the thought of not being with her forever is the scariest thing I can imagine. So long as my wife and I both cleave to each other and do our best to follow Christ's example then death holds little sting for us.

We have four kids, ranging from Tweenage all the way down to Threenage. Our kids are wicked smart, which is related to them being neurodivergent. Our oldest is autistic, our second is a visual spatial learner, our third has anxiety and possibly autism as well. The toddler is young enough that nothing has clearly manifested yet, but we're expecting it. This gives us lots of challenges, but it gives advantages as well. We're trying to navigate through it all, and prayers are always appreciated.

Okay, so that's the highlights. I might go more in depth on some stories someday, but I think that's good enough for now.

I'm wanting to use this mostly for recording my life for posterity, but I'm writing it in such a way that I'm happy to let anyone read it. Part of why I started it was that I decided that I was done with Facebook. That started with our prophet asking us to take a fast from social media. It turns out I prefer my life sans Facebook, but I still wanted somewhere to put my thoughts.

Besides logging big events in my life, I'll also talk about things going on in the world that I find interesting. Things might evolve from there. I don't know.

Anyway, goodbye for now.